Tag Archives: family

The Victim of Brotherly Love

I wanted to take this time to admire my little brother. This man has overcome so much and I can honestly say that this man has done nothing, but over come adversity and maintained a positive attitude through the whole process.

A brief synopsis is he had a rough childhood. His father wasn’t always there, but he did have a loving and caring mother and two sisters in his life. He has been over weight previously in his life and I remember watching him grow and being ridiculed for his looks on occasion. He also always did the “right thing” no matter what popular opinion may be which is, as we know, often considered “uncool”. He to this day doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and views his body as a temple.

To clarify he is my little brother through marriage, but I had the blessed privilege to watch this boy become a man and I deem myself lucky enough to have had as an influence in my life both as family and friend. Our history consists of working together, unemployment together, living together, seeing relationships through good times and bad together.

Through my blog you will hear me reference him and I want you to know him because watching him from the outside has been an inspiration to a lot of what I’ve learned.

He is the type of man that will drop everything to help you move and not ask for a dime. He has been through many situations over the years. He’s lived, literally in a closet (not in the term thought by most he is solely interested in women). He has been in a relationship where his first love of 5 years wronged him in a way I would find difficult myself to overcome, but he has done so with dignity and class. He has gone from a good career to working at McDonalds starting at minimum wage. All the while he kept a smile on his face and was one if the most joyful person throughout the process.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve seen him grieve and I know he was in pain at times, but I’ve seen his ‘vict’ (or his mindset) and the potential for that grief to allow an ‘im’ mindset (the victim) and I’ve seen him concentrate his mental focus to the ‘or’ mindset (the victor). He opted to smile when I know he didn’t feel like it or laugh when the situation, for most of us, may have dictated otherwise. He truly is a potential victim that chose to be a deliberate victor.

He has since gotten his own place, started on a career path all while successfully maintaining his goals in both his own mind as well as in the minds of others. He achieved both by being verbal about those goals and making them known.

Believe me when I tell you more than one person has chuckled hearing them for the first 109 times, but they are his goals and he’s stayed truer to them than most stay truer to a friend.

He may not see the successful man I see ahead of him, but I do. I see a man that through his goals and through adversity had remained unwavering. In return others have started to see the same man I see. What has started as a boy’s dream in other people’s minds has gradually become a man’s goals driven by passion and determination.

His goal may seem odd to others, but to him and I it has become fact. He is no longer over weight, he has set a goal to be an instructor of Jeet Kun Do and run a facility that allows others to follow and recognize their dreams through training in multiple ways. I don’t want to reveal his entire business idea because I believe it truly revolutionary to that industry and I know if anyone can do it, it’s him.

He currently is training 6 days a week and in every free moment he has, he’s going through the motions. He has a vision, before reaching this goal, to travel and find the roots of this principle and he is currently half way to the financial goal to make the learning voyage all over the world. All of which was achieved through his mindset and discipline, but most importantly by taking adversity and turning it into opportunity.

I am affected by this because no matter what I do and where I go, he is a factor in some of my decisions and drives. He positively reinforces the goals I have and I try to do the same for him.

I believe he has found the key to fight through adversity and that is solidifying his dreams. I encourage you to do the same. What ever the ‘ict’ potential situation is (the potential onset of the victim mentality) I ask that you focus on your goals by writing them down and reading them every day.

Make your goals a reality and a fact in your own mind no matter how impossible they may seem and when they become your reality then they can become the reality of those around you or it will at the least allow you to evaluate those around you. These goals though should be yours and yours alone (if married, spouses should be on board, but talking out the issue and making sure the concerns are voiced from both sides are important)

Just remember while others may not agree at first they will eventually have to admire the drive. If you waver or give up on this dream it will become difficult for all, including yourself, to remain supportive. Also, it can create a resentment for not only yourself, but for those around you. Ultimately it is your choice to fulfill those dreams.

Remember I believe you are a victor and not a victim no matter who you are. I would like to hear your goals comment them below. No matter how silly or impossible others may claim them to be.